Gosh, I love human food.
We dogs get the same old food, day in, day out, with the same taste, the same dry & boring crunchy stuff.
I really don’t like it but when I get hungry, what do I do?
I have to eat it.
Otherwise, I don’t have the energy to do my daily stuff.
So I’m stuck with this disgusting dry stuff they have the audacity to call dog food!
It’s not fair.
Now for the good news.
Over the years I’ve been able to “train” my mommy and daddy to feed me human food.
It’s taken patience and perseverance but it actually worked.
So, Now I get human food regularly.
I know that a lot of human food isn’t good.
My mommy and daddy are super extra careful and only feed me things that are not dangerous or bad for me.
But once in a while, I get the best stuff!
I’ve learned a few tricks on how to maximize the amount of human food that I can “extort” from my humans.
Whenever I hear the rustling of a bag of chips or the crackle of a cheese wrapper, I make sure to put in an appearance!
If there is the smallest whiff of goodies like ham, salami, chicken, fish, or meat, I make sure I show up pronto!
And you know what?
It works 9 times out of 10.
I end up with a tidbit here or there so I am pretty diligent about keeping my ears and my eyes open and ready!
Ans you know what?
I can put on a pretty darn good earnest begging face!
And the best part is that they fall for it most of the time, especially my mommy.
She’s a total softie when it comes to me.
I do adore her, though
My favorite human foods are sausage, chicken, salmon, burgers, roasted broccoli, potato chips, cheese of any kind, and yogurt.
There was this one time when my daddy was eating chicken nuggets and he was dipping it into some red stuff.
So I went and sat next to him and stared at him until he caved and he gave me a nugget after dipping it into the red sauce.
I crunched it down and then, suddenly, my mouth started to burn like crazy.
Dunno what the red stuff was but it was burn, burn, burn and burn some more!.
I went crazy licking my chops and started to dance around!
My daddy was shocked! Then, he realized he had fed me hot sauce.
So he immediately led me to my water bowl and held it up to my mouth.
I lapped up the water as fast as I could.
It helped soothe the burn.
I think my daddy felt terrible but I can swear I saw a hint of an evil glint in his eye.
These humans – I can never figure out their intentions!
I got pretty sick recently. I had this thing called pancrea-something-itis.
It was horrible. Make me throw up and poop like crazy.
Ok, so my vet, Dr. Diana, has put hard stop on all human food. I mean all human food.
The sliver lining?
I get this super yummy food that Dr. Diana recommended and it kind of makes up for the lack of the “good” stuff.
Could be worse, right?
Right, then, gotta go.
It’s play time.